Summer in the City

The skin where my thighs meet is a little sweaty, and I'm trying to minimise the tell-tell signs of the heat, as my face is bright red, and my cleavage a little shiny with perspiration.

These are the issues I worry about in the heat of summer, rushing back from a glorious lunch with the Acting Girls.

As usual, our conversation centred around the perils and adversity of dating in Sydney. A city of 6 million, in which I estimate 1.5 are men in their twenty-somethings. And yet, we are all still single.

Kate-Hudson-look-alike and Femme-Fatal-Wanna-Be and myself, a self confessed Wanna-Be-Hollywood-Starlet.

I'm really not sure what there will be left to talk about when we are eventually in relationships.

Kate-Hudson is sleeping with the same guy as four years ago when she was 20, although he is still with his live-in girlfriend. She is chasing a CK underwear model, (who is the hottest guy I literally have ever seen), and I wish I had the guts to tell her, he's just not that into you. And so each acting class and party and function and casting, where he is, she makes a complete and utter fool of herself. A stray cat has more of a chance of getting in CK's pants than she does unfortunately.

Femme-Fatal is gorgeous, just struggling, like all of us, in the dating arena. She has never had a boyfriend and is a walking monument to Man's stupidity. She recently asked out Body Builder from class via text, after 6 months of intense flirting and prolonged kissing scenes. He said he'd love too. But when she suggested dinner and a movie his response was I don't think my girlfriend would be to happy with that. Ah, you kidding me? WTF!

And then there's me. We already know the story. I can't get a break. BM has laid off the stalking, and I'm enjoying the break from avoiding phone calls, incessant texts, and church stalkings.

I watched these friends, who I was so dubious of in the beginning, so pleased to have found such delight in the darkness of a city crowded by the illusion of happiness and friendship. Sometimes the greatest friendships arise out of the least likely places.

More than once in the past month, have I been thankful for the guidance of Carrie Bradshaw and the ladies of Manhattan. They taught us how to date, who not to date, and that being single can be fabulous.

3 Single Actresses

Three aspiring actresses, 1 red head and 2 blonde's, discuss their dating lives over sushi.

Blond 1; So I was a bridesmaid on Friday.
Blond 2; Any hot boys?
B1; Not exactly. An embarrassed blush creeps across her face.
Redhead; Oh do tell! While shoving sushi mi in her mouth.
B1; It was the best man.
B2; Oh shit! That's fantastic.
B1: And I was drunk.
RH: Even better!
B2; How long has it been?
B1; Since?
B2; Since anything. You don't normally get drunk -
RH; Or hook up with Best Men.
They both dissolve into laughter.
B1: Three years.
RH; Picks herself off the chair. You haven't kissed anyone for 3 years?
B1; Not since Heart Break, and now I'm accidentally dating BM. SHIT!

The B2 and RH try to be sympathetic and stifle their laughter. Change of subject.

B2: So I slept with French Man.
RH; Finally!
B2; Hiding a smile. He told me I had eyes like a leopard.
B1; What the?
B2; And then jumped off the bed and danced around the floor like one.
RH; As a joke!
B2; No, he was serious. He was trying to be seductive.
B1; Bahaha, did he pounce on you and rip your clothes off with his teeth too?
B2; Not before I collected my belongings and made a run for it. He won't stop calling.
RH; Tell him to go back to Africa.

The dumplings arrive, with more cucumber roles and egg plant.

RH; So I saw my therapist today. She said the reason I haven't dated any of these guys is I scare them away?
B1; You're a femme fatal, what does she men?
RH; Apparently, my insults emasculate them. Apparently I have to be nicer.
B2; Or more like a tigress. That supposedly gets them.
RH; What the hell. B1, maybe I'll take a page out of your book, and be celibate.
B2; That'll last till tonight.

The dating woes of three single actresses. One celibate, accidentally dating someone, one who can't sleep her way through Sydney fast enough, and one who has finally discovered why she hasn't been laid in over 4 months.

The Kind Advice of the Department Store Ladies

At the beginning of the year, I spent six months working for a designer in a Department Store. Unfortunately it wasn't some top end, most wanted designer. She designed for the older women, with classic money to spend on boring cardies cost $450 each.

I was the youngest person working there, by 40 years. There were 5 ladies, all glamorous and ageing ever so gracefully. And they taught me worldly wonders. I thought I would share a few.

1. The power of classic red lipstick. It brightens any dull day. Apply after meals and blot, with a gloss over the top, it can stay on for hours. Just don't chew it off.

2. A string of pearls goes a long way. Invest in the real deal, or just a cheap $20 fake-a-rooney but no matter what the occasion, they always go down spectacularly. Just look at Carrie in Sex and the City running around town on NYE with her string dangling delicately over her PJ's.

3. Be polite and respectable to people older than you. Use Mrs. or Sir. unless instructed otherwise. I had priceless conversations with older women, and men, and heard incredible stories, from a writers point of view, just through showing a little respect.

4. No matter what the rules, coffee should always be aloud at work. We used to always get in trouble for sneaking coffee's in, and sitting in our little stock room for 11 o'clock coffee and chocolate break. I thought it was funny, that middle aged women still giggled over breaking the rules.

5. It is possible to have a successful, happy marriage, and still be glamorous, even at 60.

3 out of 5 of the women were still happily married to their first husbands, one was married to a Frenchman, which I thought was cute, and the other dated more than I. They all wore gorgeous high heals, and patterned stockings. And as young adults had been actresses. What are the odds. Everyone of them had been an actress. I vowed never to become a shop girl again to avoid being stuck there till retirement.

One more valuable piece of information they imparted in my short time with them was this. You don't have to marry what appears to be Mr. Right. You don't have to wait around for The Knight to gallop along at a blinding speed and whisk you off. You can get out and love life. Date a few men, get a broken heart or two. But live life fabulously and daringly.

And so, whilest surrounded by doting couples, I will hold my head high, and not worry if D is he or not. I will not search the face of every man I see any longer, trying to find the spark that means he's for me.

I also learnt from these ladies, that black is the most fashionable colour, throw a coloured wrap around your neck, and teamed with the pearls and red lippy, you're always ready in glamorous heals.

We worked across from the shoe department.