Wednesday, December 17, 2008

3 Single Actresses

Three aspiring actresses, 1 red head and 2 blonde's, discuss their dating lives over sushi.

Blond 1; So I was a bridesmaid on Friday.
Blond 2; Any hot boys?
B1; Not exactly. An embarrassed blush creeps across her face.
Redhead; Oh do tell! While shoving sushi mi in her mouth.
B1; It was the best man.
B2; Oh shit! That's fantastic.
B1: And I was drunk.
RH: Even better!
B2; How long has it been?
B1; Since?
B2; Since anything. You don't normally get drunk -
RH; Or hook up with Best Men.
They both dissolve into laughter.
B1: Three years.
RH; Picks herself off the chair. You haven't kissed anyone for 3 years?
B1; Not since Heart Break, and now I'm accidentally dating BM. SHIT!

The B2 and RH try to be sympathetic and stifle their laughter. Change of subject.

B2: So I slept with French Man.
RH; Finally!
B2; Hiding a smile. He told me I had eyes like a leopard.
B1; What the?
B2; And then jumped off the bed and danced around the floor like one.
RH; As a joke!
B2; No, he was serious. He was trying to be seductive.
B1; Bahaha, did he pounce on you and rip your clothes off with his teeth too?
B2; Not before I collected my belongings and made a run for it. He won't stop calling.
RH; Tell him to go back to Africa.

The dumplings arrive, with more cucumber roles and egg plant.

RH; So I saw my therapist today. She said the reason I haven't dated any of these guys is I scare them away?
B1; You're a femme fatal, what does she men?
RH; Apparently, my insults emasculate them. Apparently I have to be nicer.
B2; Or more like a tigress. That supposedly gets them.
RH; What the hell. B1, maybe I'll take a page out of your book, and be celibate.
B2; That'll last till tonight.

The dating woes of three single actresses. One celibate, accidentally dating someone, one who can't sleep her way through Sydney fast enough, and one who has finally discovered why she hasn't been laid in over 4 months.

1 comment:

That damn expat said...

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