I kept my head down and my thoughts locked tight to myself, afraid everyone else could read how insecure I was. The binge drinking, chain smoking, multiple-boy kissing girl of 18 - my first day of college 4 years ago.
Today marked my last lecture.
There is a sense of nostalgia, even after the toughest 4 years. And the best. An acting school, a bible college, a leadership development programme and a theology degree, all mixed into what has been my life, longer than anything else has.
I no longer smoke, I haven't been drunk in 3 years, and the last boy I kissed (apart from acting) was a boy I loved 2 and a half years ago. It is like going into rehab and coming out a different person.
I made best friends, watched friends fall in love and get married and fall pregnant. I developed who I was. What I wanted, what I didn't want. I decided I want to be an actress, and that social justice was my purpose. But most of all, I found God.
He was always there, I had just ignored Him. I had played the ignorant fool we too often fall subject to. I had asked Him to help me when I was 16 and getting busted for shop lifting, I had prayed that Adam would fall in love with me at 15, and I had said my nightly prayers all through High School. But I never understood Him. He's character, and purpose, and grace. The reason I chose to 'give up my life' for something bigger than myself.
I graduate with a Bachelor of Theology Majoring in Acting and Theatre Craft, (try saying that fast), but it's not the paper I really care about. I care that my life has been completely transformed. I still have blond hair and wear the same dress size (though my style has improved significantly), but my character and what I believe is completely different.
Discover who you are, and enjoy the adventure.