The Ladder Man

To: boredeventsmanager@work.org.au
ccc: boredermarkertingassistant@work.org.au
From: Receptionistnotslave@work.org.au
Subject: Of Great Importance.

Hi girls,

There is a matter of great concern walking up the stairs right now. Carrying a ladder. With a great tan. And bulging biceps. And an amazing jaw line. Heart-melting smile. Singlet wearing. Smelling of summer and sun screen.

I advice. No, urge you. Get off your buts, stop pretending to work (via poking me on facebook) and come have a fricken perv!!!

*Don't worry about it now. He's gone. But not without a brief flirt session and me holding the door open for him and his Big Ladder. I swear I looked like one of those girls off the Price Is Right.

I'll let you know when he comes back to ask for my number.

Hope your is less boring now.

B

xoxo

English Boys Are Cute!

Upon a recent discovery, that all of my current top 5 hottest boys are English, I have decided this is where I need to be positioned. And so, perhaps I should move.

On top of the vague decision to move countries, to a place where it snows (I hate snow), I also decided I needed to marry one of my top 5.

Here they are.

5. Dominic Cooper. As seen in Mamma Mia and The Duchess. Understatedly cute, note the biceps, and a sexy accent to boot.

4. James McEvoy. A name on many lips of late. He first did it for me in Becoming Jane, and took our breath away in Atonement. With a long list of recent movies I can't wait too watch him in. Shame about the wife though.

3. Ben Barnes. His first major role was as Prince Caspian in the Chronicles of Narnia. The strong, silent, fighter with sexy eyes out shone any of the girl crushes people had developed on Peter and Edmund. He's funny wit, and gorgeous smile make him a Girl Favourite. (Check out the arms!)

2. Charlie Cox. A name not many have heard, but he definatly made my head swim when he started in Stardust. C19th style clothing, and a transition from geek to god makes you think twice about casting your eyes over this understated gorgeousness! He has the Cambridge class with a cute little grin. My kinda boy! (I may or may not have youtube-d him a few too many times.)

1. No surprises here. Rob Pattinson. Or Rpatz to his friends :) If you haven't seen Twilight, (hopefully my obsession didn't put anyone off) you need too see it just for him*. Rob is being dubbed the next Jude Law or Johnny Depp, at worst Orlando Bloom. Pretty dazzling future ahead! My friends and I agreed he's probably the best on-screen kiss and when I finally get myself tied down he's my free pass. (That's assuming I don't actually end up with him).

*I saw it last night for the 4th time. And bought the soundtrack. Obsessed?

I want you to be what I want

There's a certain sickening memory that pulls you from inside out and makes you want to catch your breathe for fear of suffocation.

A memory embedded deep you hate to admit, feels like the last time yo were ecstatically happy.

He's memory is tainted on my walls, the scent of Christmas night invades my mind with his face. He was my last Happy. He was the last time I considered forever.

He came from no where. Swept the wind from under me, and left too quickly with a little promise for future. He was the last time I uttered love.

And now, 3 years later, he is married and I am still here. In the same house. In the same bedroom with lame pictures of Paris on the walls and an empty double bed.

Summer reminds me of how my fear of deep water evaporated when I was with him. Summer reminds me, of being on holidays and spending every waking moment doing nothing, and savouring the hours just by kissing.

And summer reminds me of what I don't have any more. This is my third summer alone. Alone. The words uttered in cursed silence by the family. The pity and question mark their crooked smiles as they greet me with Christmas cheer. Little Sister introduced BF to the family this Christmas. I braved the questionable glances as to why Big Sister is still single. Questions of career, acting, 'friends' are all a way around the one thing they all want to know. "Is there anyone of special significance in your life?" In other words, "Please reassure us that you are normal and will not be the awkward 40 year old spinster".

I don't care about my single status. It is the choice I have made for right now. I could date about 3 guys right now. But I know I would settle.

And if I am this ok in my mind, then why do I want BM to be something more?

I want you to be what I want.

And so Christmas, Boxing Day, NYE, all remind me I am Still. Single.

And I remind myself. I. Don't. Care.

Even if I do, a little.

It is the last working day of the year. Well for me at least. As the afternoon receptionist, I get tomorrow off! I'm thrilled! Do you know how much shopping I have left to do???

Now, I make reference to my blog title, receptionist-not-slave. Some people seem to forget this. Such as the gallery department. They have me, folding invites, inserting gallery calenders, stuffing them in envelopes and sealing them shut. 1, 000 of them. I mean seriously. Is that really how I want to spend the last working day of the year??? So I am reading lots of gossip and blogs.

On my old blog (which to many people knew about so I sadly deleted it) I blogged about Twilight, alot! I have recently seen the movie 3 times in 10 days, and finished the last book Breaking Dawn. I'm so sad it's over. The most beautiful love story I have ever read.

And I quote;

About three things I was absoltuly certain.

1. Edward was a vampire.

2. There was apart of him, and I didn't know how

dominant that part was, that thirsted for my blood.

3. I was unconditionally and erevocably in love with him.

Now do yourself a favour. If you haven't read it...read it!

I came down stairs last night at 1am, and there is mum, crouched in the dimly lit hallway, like an Indian praying, reading Eclipse. The third book. She wouldn't even look up at me she was so engrosed.

It is every girls desire. To be loved, so fervently, passionatly, and singularly by the 'hottest guy in school'. No matter what we say, we all want an Edward.

It's funny talking to my married friends, or friends in 'deep, deep' love. They always say, "(Insert lovers name here) looks at me like Edward", or "(Lover) would stop a moving car with his bare hands for me". Sometimes I feel a little lonelier for hearing it.

At the heart of every girl or women, and even most men, is this unquenchable need to be someone else's absolute. Too know that someone is lying awake at night thinking about them. To walk in a room, and they only see you, even with Rachel Hunter standing next to you. We all long for an indescribable love. The epic love that can only be silenced by death, and even then that kind of love lives on in the hearts and minds of those who witnessed it.

It is for this love I wait. No matter how many guys ask me out, or pursue me, and no matter how great they are, I know what I am waiting for. And I know, without a doubt, I won't miss it. People have told me I'm too picky, I tell them I have standards. People worry I'll be overlooked because of my determination, I tell them he will see me. And friends and family alike put me in the single catagory, whether mentally or physically I become the single one. But that is ok. Because we just haven't found each other yet. And we will. At the right time, when life is as it should be, and we are ready. We will find each other. Just like Edward and Bella.

Edward to Bella

You don't know how long I've waited for you.

The Short of it.

I don’t like ugly mugs. Or mugs that aren’t made for your hands to comfortably curve inside your cupped palms. And they can’t have stains on the bottom from left over coffee. Or tea. And if there is a pattern, it can’t be too colourful. Or florally. Or dull. Probably best if it is plain white. All the mugs in the office kitchen are ugly. I have to resort to the floral ones. They're to small for a decent cup of tea, or coffee, or a sneaky milo!

BM is still calling, messaging, stalking. Seriously! I discovered we’re friends on FB. You know what that means don’t you…he’s checked out all my pictures, read all my wall comments, and the replies, and has seen what events I have coming up.

He called last night, when I was on the way home. It was 10 pm and awkward. I wanted to get off the phone as soon as possible.

How do I shake this one? It’s just too awkward. Our best friends just got married!

The more I get to know various boys, and have more potential suitors than I have since I was 17 and living vicariously, the more I realize, I am willing to wait for Mr. Right. I know what I want, and I’ll wait for it. Even if I am still single into my mid 20’s, God help me!

On another, non boy related note, I did my Christmas shopping today, and feel good. I also bought a white tee-shirt. It is hot! Especially with short shorts and a hat. Totally hot!

And I am going to the Ice Bar tonight. Its pure ice. Everything. You can only stay in there for 30 minutes, your drink out of ice cups, and there are No. Boys. A night out with the girls! Just what I need.

PS. I also really, really want a hot tu-tu like Aggi. She is totally rocking my boat atm!

What's on your fashion wish list?

Lonely Posting!

I am feeling very lonely on these pages. I want my blogging network back!!!

So things with D are going really well. I organised a massive day on Saturday where we go into to housing commission and do heaps of work. Running teams, fielding calls, knowing where everyone is and what they are doing. We even painted a house for a lady and she complained about the colour and we had to re-do it on Sunday. D had to work, but he called me to see how it went. What a man! After one conversation he actually cared enough to call!

Last night at church, I seriously thought I was going to pass out, my panic attacks were so bad. But once we started chatting and laughing, I felt as calm as the waters of the Red Sea. We talked for hours, and laughed, and I introduced him to all my friends. It just felt natural.

We still are just getting to know each other, but it's an incredible level. I've never connected so quickly to anyone. I feel like he reads my soul. It's too weird.

And I think right now, it's just friends. And that makes me happy. So what if he isn't my fairytale, he's amazing, and I'm so glad I'm even his friend!

I don't have any funny stories today, the weekend was to stressful.

Tomorrow is Melbourne Cup Day. For those of you who aren't Australians it is THE most fashionable day of the year. Entire ranges are created, fashion shows are organised and fashion editors are stressing over this day. At 3:30 tomorrow, the Country stops to watch a horse race. That is the fuss. A horse raise.

Oh but the dresses! And the HATS! That is really what it is all about.

I have to choose a dress! I need to make my head piece. We are having high tea and champagne at work to watch the race tomorrow.

I will win best dressed! Or at least my pink cup cakes will be the favourite of the day!

I have previously had another blog, I was very attached too, but my sister found it on the history page on the family computer, which I use about once a year, and has started reading about my secret life. So I've started a new blog. I hate good byes and new starts. But here we go.

This blog will be even better, more person, because my name isn't in the web address. I'm not
worried about people I know finding it. I am completely anonymous! Ya.

If you've come over from my last blog, thank you for your faithfulness!!!

I met a stranger last night, who is now, I suppose you could say, a very good friend. I have just taken over the social justice department of the young adults of my church, and I'm feeling very overwhelmed by all that we are organising and I am having to do. And I really wanted a boy/friend who could be a support. Understand me, listen to me, help me.

Well last night, sitting in a cafe with 20 friends, I ended up next to this new guy. Lets call him D. We began talking, and he starts sharing his life story. About how he used to be into drugs, dealing, using, the works. He met God, changed his life, and ran a whole bunch of community events and social justice programs at his old church. Exactly what I am doing. So we talk about this for an hour. I'm trying to eat nacho's and still engage in the most amazing conversation of my life...there was avacado everywhere!

Then he starts telling me about his life. He's the only boy with three sisters. I'm one of 3 sisters, and we have a younger brother who is out-of-control! Sometimes I'm so close to calling the police! He reassures me it will be ok. Look how he turned out. We both grew up with dad's in the airforce and navy, travelling around Australia, with close to no money and 4 kids in the back of the car, driving for 5 days at a time. In a few weeks I'm going to a rally at Parliment House for HUman Trafficking, he went last year. I don't know anyone else who has done that.

Everyone left, the table was cleared, the cafe empty, before we resurfaced from cracking each other up, and understanding, soul to soul, who we both were. No one has understood me like that. No one has had so much in common with me. I don't know if its a soul mate or best friend, but it's something incredible and unexpect! I can't wait to see what happens!!!

So blogging friends, thanks for sticking around! You're all fabulous!!!